There’s so much fuss about introverts and extroverts nowadays. People usually see introverts as aliens or antisocial personalities. But they just draw energy from their inner world and not from the outside one. That’s why they need to distance themselves from the society sometimes to “reboot,” and their behavior seems strange. Here are some tips on how to date an introvert.
1) Introverts don’t like pointless conversations
Their social energy is limited, so there’s no point in spending it on something that doesn’t matter. Deep conversations attract them more while how-are-you types of dialogues seem insincere to them. They love face-to-face communication.
2) Introverts hate phones
There’s a dating rule: one should wait for 2-3 days before calling again. It has to be a phone call, not a text message, as it’s more personal and pleasant. And for introverts, it’s equally difficult both to call and write a message. Calls interrupt their internal work, break through their protective barrier, and often end with low-information conversations. So if you call an introvert, speak quickly and state your business. And if you don’t get through, leave a voice message.
3) Observe the boundaries
Introverts feel calm and safe in places they’ve already been to. For this reason, they avoid noisy, crowded places they don’t know. But not only external boundaries are important in the relationship with an introvert, internal ones mean a lot, too. This applies to their personal space, belongings, or rituals. Never take their stuff without asking. Never place things your introvert partner uses in other places if you decide to clean up the house. Such behavior can deeply offend and upset them. Everything has its place. Therefore, introverts may treat any manipulation with their belongings as an attempt to violate their personal space. If you take something without their permission, the relationship may end with a quarrel, and your desire to help can be perceived as an unexpected intervention. Respect your introvert partner’s personal boundaries and personal space.
4) Develop empathy and sensitivity
The nature of the relationship with an introvert and their happy scenario will depend on how empathic you are, that is, if you’re able to understand other people’s feelings. Very often a person focused on his or her thoughts and internal processes, remains incomprehensible to those who tend to perceive life situations superficially. In this case, the introvert may feel misunderstood and lonely, as if you’re talking with your partner in different languages. The nature of the relationship, in which two people are at different levels of perception, can lead to the realization of a complete disparity between people. Therefore, if you want to win the introvert’s heart, the development of sensitive, deep, and emotional relationships is one of the most important keys to success. You must be able to reflect their feelings, adjusting to their mood, asking questions, listening carefully, and sympathizing, if necessary. An introvert must feel that you understand their world.
5) Introverts need time for themselves
If you don’t need it – that’s fine. Go where you want to, and don’t make your partner go with you (or make them feel guilty because they didn’t). Yes, they can spend the weekend at home, go home in the middle of a party or during a conversation, but that doesn’t mean that you need to do the same.
If you decide to date an introvert, you can be sure that you’ll have to face these problems. You can whether take a chance and try to fight them together or not. But remember that no one is born an introvert, they become ones, and there are reasons for this. As soon as you remove the reason, your partner’s mood will change too.